Parents scramble for such kindergarten activities

Home Changsha Long starts with a speech from a parent who has problems with child care:

 

 

 

How should we choose interest classes for children

 

 

 

The headmaster said: When we were young, we seldom had the opportunity to make independent choices. Now we are parents, and we are used to making choices for our children. There are various good reasons: learning the piano is to let you have a skill, and we can add points when interviewing in primary school; Mom wanted to learn dance when she was young, but there was no condition at that time, so you should cherish it; Persistence is the key to learning, and we should continue to learn.

 

The result of this often leads to children's cognitive distortion and emotional resistance to interest classes. Who is in the interest class? What will you get? This is a question that parents should think about when choosing interest classes with their children.

 

Smart parents know to follow their children, give advice on the premise of respecting their children's choices, support their children when they encounter difficulties, and encourage them when they want to give up.

 

Confused parents always stand in front of their children and make the "best" choice for them at the beginning. Parents should learn to follow their children, so that our children have the opportunity to make their own decisions and take responsibility for their own decisions from an early age.

 

❑ Family Changsha Long started the topic from the interest class, but soon the topic entered a broader field:

 

 

 

What on earth plays a decisive role in children, and what kind of children should we cultivate?

 

The problems discussed by parents have gone beyond the preset depth. It seems that parents have been thinking deeply about educating children.

 

 

 

What kind of child should we raise

 

Parent 1: After having children, I have been thinking about the question: What is the most important for children? After thinking over and over again, I think it's character. The character I mentioned here refers to the acquired character, not the inborn temperament type. I firmly believe that character determines destiny and the way to solve problems, so I attach great importance to the cultivation of children's character.

 

 

 

Parent 2: I think children with a strong sense of security will have a better character. Before the child is 3 years old, I take care of the child personally to give him enough sense of security so that he can face setbacks and negative influences from the outside world in the future.

 

 

 

Parent 3: You think very far. One thing I agree with is that you said to cultivate children with strong hearts. I always want to cultivate my daughter into the kind of person you said. So I often pass on a firm concept to my daughter when I tell her stories.

 

 

 

Parent 4: Yes, what we need to do is to trust our children, not to fear and worry at any time and anywhere, and let them learn to choose and judge. Then, try to be the smart parents who follow the children as the headmaster said.

 

The headmaster said: We are not magicians, and we cannot use magic to ensure that our children will only be happy in their future lives, without failures and setbacks, but we can teach our children how to deal with failures and setbacks. Smart parents show the process of resolving conflicts, while confused parents show the emotion of resolving conflicts.

 

Although each of us has his own trace of life and self limitation in his educational concept, I was moved by his parents' rational self reflection, discussion and collision. There is no best, only better. I believe that in this process, we have created the most suitable environment for our children.

 

❑ Then, a parent raised the problem that it is difficult to unify the education of different generations in the family. The discussion did not produce the coping methods that everyone could adopt according to the customary direction, but produced an unexpected voice: never underestimate the influence of mothers on children.

 

What to do if family education is inconsistent

 

Parent 1: We also have this problem, but we can't point it out. Because the elderly are very hard, and their intention is to love their children. We can't force the elderly to take care of their children.

 

Parent 2: There is no clear boundary for education. I think it is important to convey the right to our children. For most of the year, children live in the same way as their parents. It's no big deal to live in the same way as grandparents during the winter and summer holidays. We can't magnify the impact.

 

Parent 3: I was particularly touched by the statement that never underestimate the influence of mothers on children! Even if children live with their grandparents for a long time, so what? When children react to some improper education methods, we can deal with it again. We can't prevent everything.

 

The headmaster said: What we need to do is to clarify the division of roles of two generations in parenting. Parents are the leading role in parenting and have the right to decide on children's affairs; Ancestors assisted care, provided advice and suggestions, and shared educational tasks such as child potential development and character cultivation.

 

In addition to the clear division of labor in intergenerational education, the education between husband and wife should be as consistent as possible. Satya, an American family education expert, once said that "smart couples will work hard to learn the differences between them in advance", rather than always showing inconsistencies, differences or contradictions in front of their children. In that case, children tend to choose situations that seem to be beneficial to them - but these advantages are often not really beneficial to their physical and mental health.

 

❑ Next, another parent shared the conflict between her and her daughter.

 

 

 

Do we respect children

 

 

 

Jiajia's mother: There is a specific thing I want to share with you. One morning when she got up, her daughter had to wear a pair of pants with small flowers. The pants were ugly, so I told her directly that it was no good. This pair of pants can only be worn at home. I subjectively thought that she just wanted to wear the clothes of Xiaohua, so I gave her another pair of pants with broken flowers, but my daughter didn't want it, so I was very angry. The atmosphere was very bad at that time!

 

 

 

Parent 1: Yes, such things often happen in our family in the morning, which makes everyone unhappy every time.

 

 

 

Jiajia's mother: Later, Grandma came to ask her why she had to wear those pants. My daughter said that because they had pockets, she could put her hands in them when it was cold. I felt like crying at that time. I always thought I was a responsible mother, but I took it for granted to decide something for my daughter, and didn't ask her about it..

 

 

 

Parent 2: Yes, we often take it for granted to impose our own ideas on children. The lack of effective communication has led to conflicts between parents and children, which has stimulated a bad atmosphere.

 

 

 

Parent 3: Many times, parents are not perfect.

 

 

 

The director said that there is a very important concept in positive discipline: "accept imperfection". It is very important to accept imperfections in daily life. We accept the imperfections of others and ourselves, but accepting imperfections does not mean no progress. We accept imperfections of ourselves and others on the basis of reflection.

 

 

 

So parents don't have to blame themselves too much. When communicating with children, we should listen to their ideas and adjust our practices in a timely manner. Our parents always grow up in constant adjustment. For children aged 0-6 years, it is important to establish a sense of security.

 

 

 

Smart parents respect their children, their expressions and choices, and confused parents are arbitrary. When we can't understand children's ideas, we can try to talk with them in their language, repeat their words, and ask the past in a different tone. Simple techniques can make us closer to children.